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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
WikiTMNT
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Names

Leonardo
Donatello
Michelangelo
Raphael

Allies

Hamato Yoshi aka. Splinter
April O'Neil
Casey Jones
Various minor characters

First appearance

Eastman and Laird's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 (1984)

Created by

Kevin Eastman
Peter Laird

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, aka The Turtles, TMNT,  are a set of comic book characters created by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman. They have been around since 1984 and have been more or less popular ever since.

However, the creators were obviously wrong when they created the franchise of your youths, an account on the Drome or any other TMNT-themed online community automatically allows you to throw canon and established fact out of the window and re-fill the now-empty husks of your characters with whatever you want, thus creating the Online Ninja Turtles.

The Official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Edit

What follows is a short description of the franchise, according to Wikipedia:

From their home in the storm sewers of New York, they battle petty criminals, evil megalomaniacs, and alien invaders, all while remaining isolated from society at large. The characters initially appeared in comic books before being licensed for toys, cartoons and film adaptations. During the peak of its popularity in the late 1980s through early 1990s, the franchise gained considerable worldwide success and fame.

The Online Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Edit

As with every franchise, the fandom has its very own ideas about how, who and what their favourite characters are. This includes but is not limited to the addition of new characters, change of characters, sexual orientation, setting, and basically everything else. A popular and recurring theme in the online fandom is the Fifth Turtle. These characters often are completely butcher, crap on and then wipe their butts with everything comics, cartoons, video games and live action movies have taught us and would make Eastman and Laird sick.

Needless to say, acting "out of character" is the Online Turtles' smallest problem.

Fifth Turtles Edit

There is virtually a horde of fifth turtles around, all complete with more or less contrived origin stories as to why they were never heard of before. These characters include, but are by no means limited to the following characters: Needless to say, these characters completely defy one of the cornerstones of the TMNT-universe, namely that they're unique and that there's only the four of them out there. Strangely, this doesn't bother anyone and the role players play them regardless.

See also: List of Fifth Turtles

Romantic partners Edit

Many a fangirl wishes for a  big, ugly, scaly, coldblooded love-interest who reproduces by inseminating eggs. Leonardo and Raphael seem to be the most popular choices as they serve as a projection of the ideal partner for both Mary Sue characters and fangirls.

Sexual Deviants Edit

Many interpretations of the have a slightly sexual twist to them. While it has never been established if and how the TMNT are able to reproduce, they're generally thought to have a large penis each. Through weird machinations of fate - presumably mutation - you never see this penis unless it is fully erect and uses at least 60% of the turtle's blood to stay that way. These sexual turtles engage in just about every fetish you can imagine, most often in a bizarre form of sodomy where they have fanartistic intercourse with April O'Neil and/or Irma and/or fancharacters. You will be spared the exact nature of these images, but rest assured, they are out there.

Re-Imaginings Edit

Because Eastman and Laird were wrong while creating the most popular franchise of your childhood, many fans have taken it upon themselves to fix the Turtles for their creators. The exact variations here are endless, however, they usually contradict everything that was previously assumed canon. Popular re-imagined versions include

  • Living freely - Why hide? You're only a giant, ugly, coldblooded, mutant turtle. A world that has problems with people of different skin colour is a perfect place for you to live.
  • New hobby - Who needs to be a ninja when you can play in a jazz band?
  • Jobs - Because nobody notices the giant green reptile sweeping the floor at McDonald's
  • Better jobs - Because you just get a doctor-title without ever having been to any school

Transformation Powers Edit

Because they somehow need to meet the love of their lives, the Turtles sometimes gain the ability to shapeshift into a human being. Being a regular human, they then have the perfect chance to accidentally run into their future love-interest who is amazingly tolerant towards being in love with something out of a horror movie that might - for all she knows - eat her while she's asleep.

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